Does anyone know where on earth i can buy a cheap but pious condensing combi boiler? ...

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Answers:    Cheap and good a moment ago don't go together near condensing boilers, use Worcester or Vaillant, and an accredited installer, you carry a better guarantee that way, you won't salvage a lot by buying your own boiler any. P.S. The ratings rich is on about are for efficiencies merely, which only swing by 0.4% in the top ten, they do not make a contribution quality and reliability ratings.
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Ashford Heating enjoy good prices