Does anyone know where on earth I can buy a solid chocolate brown crib bumper?
Answers: try: www.solidchocolatebrowncribbumpers.com
You could look online in the JCPenney catalog, or Sears. Also, it's not that firm to make a bumper. If you walk to Walmart or some other craft store that sells pattern and fabric, you should know how to find what you are looking for.